Shattered glass, shattered spirit.

This past Saturday evening, my car was broken into. It was parked in my cull-de-sac with pretty much nothing of value inside of it. The driver's side window was shattered, every thing in the vehicle had obviously been rifled through. My black pea coat, a pair of inexpensive gloves and the tape adapter for my iPod were taken. The trunk and engine untouched. The possessions themselves are collectively valued at less than seventy-five dollars and I really am not going to miss them much. My car is still running great and is very much repairable and for that I am very much thankful. Yet, this whole experience has shaken me up much more than I expected.

I don't understand why someone would do this and, if I'm honest, I'm kind of asking what I did to deserve this. It couldn't have come at a worse time. This is the first week of a term in which I'm taking 17 credits, I'm housesitting starting on wednesday and I'm planning on heading up to the Seattle area this weekend. And, it's not like money's super tight but this will definitely be a financial strain. Not to mention, I now feel unsettled about leaving my car out overnight because I really feel that unless I had put the car in the garage (which I couldn't have done), I believe my car would have been broken into no matter what. I just don't get it.

I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from this either and I can almost feel a spirit of bitterness rising up inside of me - which is scary in a bad way. I just don't know what to do about feeling safe. I mean, what more can I do than leave my car locked with nothing of value inside?

What I really should do is look back on my theme verse for 2008, Isaiah 41:10

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Just like God was with the Israelites, He is with me. Therefore, I have nothing to fear.
Father, take my fears and my anxieties. Help me to trust in you because there is no power greater and no strength more magnificent than yours. I love you and I desire to honor you. LORD, help me honor you in this. Though I may not completely understand why, I know there's something to be learned from this because you told us through Paul that suffering (how ever small it may be) produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. So, father please take away my fear and tendencies towards bitterness and allow this experience to build character and bring me hope.

I Suck at Life, or Maybe Just Blogging

Well, here's the apology for not putting out much of anything lately for all two of you that actually read my blog. :) I've been super busy with school as of late and have begun to journal regularly again resulting in my thoughts being expressed in written form there instead of here.

An update/deeper posts are coming....

But I need to survive my Anatomy and Physiology final first.

Tales of Community College Part 2 of ?

This is what my teacher said in Into to Psych this morning, no joke.

"Most adolescents that end up at Community College are in a life crisis, trying to figure out who they are and what they want to be. These people are generally very confused about their place in life and have little to no direction."

Thank you, Dr. Tinker.

I think I'm just going to go wallow in self-pity and use my 'life crisis' as an excuse to put off applying to nursing school now.

Wow.