Boggled By Blessings

In holiday tradition,

I would like to take the time to reflect on the many blessings in my life.

I am thankful for...
...Jesus dying on the cross for my sins, so that I could spend eternity with Him. :)
...forgiveness
...My mom, who is one of my best friends
...my daddy, who never ceases to make me laugh and doesn't go a day without letting me know how much he loves me.
...my job - 11/hr. and it's only 1 1/2 miles from my house!
...my car, it gets me everywhere I need to go and some places I want to go
...the opportunity to go to college and get a degree
...all my amazing friends, too many to mention plus this way I don't leave anyone out.
...my computer, I spend way too much time on this thing
...The Way, a ministry that blessed me so much over the past three years
...my experience at Ecola Bible School and the way it has shaped me into the person I am today
...Harvest, a piece of my heart will always remain at this church
...A warm house
...having so many clothes that I could go at LEAST three weeks without doing laundry
...caramel lattes :)
...my extended family, their love and support never ceases
...good health
...having so many friends that I cannot keep up with them all
...living in a nation where I am free to live out my faith without fear
...my pseudo families, the Join-in and the Weatherford 7
...music
...good books
...the opportunity to be involved in Portland Improv
...gas prices plummeting
...snail mail
...my intelect
...my voice, the ability to sing
...never being need

So much....so much to be thankful for and I'm pretty sure there's more.

A Little Perspective on Sin

Oh yes, I know this tension that you speak of
We're in the palm of a hand making a fist
It'd be best for one of us to speak up
But we prefer to pretend it does not exist

And you can't see past the blood on my hands
To see that you've been aptly damned
To fail and fail again

Cause we're all guilty of the same things
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through
And I know that I have been forgiven
And I just hope you can forgive me too

So don't you dare blame me for
Prying open the door
That's unleashed the bitterness
That's here in the midst of this
Sometimes we live for no one but ourselves

And what we've been striving for
Has turned into nothing more
Than bodies limp on the floor
Victims of falling short
We kiss goodbye the cheek of our true love

Forgiven By Relient K


As I drove home from school today, this song came on. Since the first time I heard this, I thought it was something the church needed to hear but today I got some new perspective.

Picture this:
God is holy.
He is the Creator of the Universe.

Man is sinful, prideful and self-centered.

These lyrics speak of how grudges are formed because we "can't see past on the blood" on our brothers' and sisters' hands.

If there are sins that we find too atrocious, disgusting, hurtful or shocking to forgive. Think about how God sees that sin. We are men - creatures of sin and yet we are replused by it. How much more would God be replused by it?!

He's Holy aka he has no sin. He is as far away from sin as you can get. So, when we sin God's feelings of disgust, shock, replusion and hurt are much more magnified than ours when we commit sins against others and ourselves.

The good news? (also known as the Gospel :))

WE ARE FORGIVEN!

God sent Jesus so that He could look on us in love again, despite our sin. So that our sins would be paid for and covered - never to return again.

How freeing is that?!

The next time you are replused, hurt, shocked or whatever by someone else's sin, take a moment to stop and remember that you have been forgiven by someone who finds your sin a lot more replusive that you do. Remember what God has done for you and that you are a sinner.

Forgive your brothers and sisters - love them, encourage them and pray for them because this is how the body of Christ works.

The Wasted Life

So, I've been reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper for about three weeks now. I'm making slow progress because I don't have a lot of time and it's a lot of info to chew on. Still, as I read, I find myself nodding along with nearly everything in this book. Piper talks about what's wrong with American Christianity today and what we need to do in order to live the live God intended for us - to live the life not wasted. He speaks of the purpose of man and how we are meant to live in accordance to God's plan. And, up until last Friday, I thought I was doing alright.

This last weekend, I visited Ecola for the third time this year. It was a bittersweet weekend filled with lots of good memories, making several new friends, catching up, and a few goodbyes. It definitely made me miss just living at the beach. There's something that happened on that trip, a heart thing, that I need to examine.

Friday night, the students were having a worship time in the chapel and I decided to stop by. When I got there, I just stood in the doorway not feeling like it was my place to go in. I listened as the students poured their hearts out to God through prayer and then praise Him in song. I watched them support each other when a brother or sister was obviously struggling. It became hard for me to watch and even brought tears to my eyes because I miss that. I miss living in that environment where there's always someone to pray with you where God is ALWAYS at the forefront. It's easy to remember why we're here and who we're living for when you have bible classes five days a week.

It began to question God, to ask him why I didn't have this amazing fellowship anymore. I wished that I was as close to Him as I was last year - that I was still reading my bible and praying every morning. Then came the wave of tears and the tearing of my heart.

My heart broke when God reached down and told me that I could be this close to Him still - that I was the only thing standing in my way. I simply was not willing to make the sacrifice of my time or my sleep or my tv shows. I was ashamed.
My heart broke because I realized that I was living the wasted life God calls us away from. I had been talking about my aspirations to become a missionary while neglecting to love my co-workers and the people in my classes at school.

I came to these realizations on Friday but I fear I forgot all about them Saturday morning and haven't thought much of them until now.

Father,
Be with me.
Help me.
Lift me up.
I can't do this on my own.
Constantly remind me who I am,
Why I'm here.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ and I MUST lose my life to gain it.